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12 June 2017 @ 01:00 am
Why is this on Sunday now? I don't like it.

I expect to see the Scorpio and some shooty shooty bang bang games.

22.01 - Looks like it is starting with the Scorpio. Yup there it is.
Phil Spencer is on stage. Talking about Xbox wankery. Xbox1X. What a shit name. Nov 7. Fake whoops from the crowd.

22.05 - Kareem Choudry talking more XB1X shit. XB1 games will play better on 1X. Use the same accessories too. Why are these things getting cheers?

22.10 - ooh a game! Oh it's forza :/. A debut for a new Porche car. Um what. Are you trying to sell games or cars?

Couple of women pro drivers demoing it... but they aren't actually playing it? What's the point in having them there then? Don't they have something better to show?

22.18 - Thank fuck that's over. 'Most diverse games we've ever shown'. I don't believe you Phil. 42 games apparently. "22 exclusive games" lol.

First person of course it fucking is. Totally not pre rendered, wink wink. People say it's metro and it is.

22.24 - Ass creed isn't it. Ass Creed Egypt edition.
22.26 - Ubi guy talking about it. Nearly says Xbone! Best moment so far.

22.27 - something else? Oh it's another ass creed trailer. Oh fuck off with that! Some 'gameplay', yeah that's ass creed. Running not very well too.

22.33 - Mixer. What is that. They say like I should know what is is and I am not the only one confused.

22.34 - Player Unknown's Battlegrounds. Is that meant to be exciting?

22.34 - "Exclusive". Not first person! Oh it is for pubg, they should have said that at the start! No need for the elusive, they've told us what it is already.

22.37 - A stylised 1st person. Fighting bugs, Deep Rock Galactic.

22.38 - Some zombie post apocalyptic game. This looks really boring, even for a zombie game. State of Decay 2. That looked bad.

22.42 - Looks like battle royale the game. This guy talking is loud, screaming and annoying. What was that? [an attempt to cash in on Overwatch?]

22.44 - Minecraft! Woman on stage who looks and sounds like a 12 year old boy. New look for Minecraft. Uh oh. Eh. It's fucking blocks even in 4k. Who fucking cares. And they showed a switch image made in game... to show the cross play. Bit odd as hell to see a Switch image at the MS conference. [Sony not included on the cross play]

22.49 - A DBZ game. A fighting game, because we need more dbz fighting games :/

22.50 - the use of 'exclusive' is very misleading if you look at the small print during the trailer. Console launch exclusive means its not exclusive.

Black desert? I don't know what that really was. [a Korean mmo apparently is been out for ages on pc]

22.53 - Last night. Looks like the old game Flashback [indie game]

22.54 - Cartoony game. Platformer? Missed what it was called it went by too fast. [Odd Tales?]

22.55 - Looks Japanese. Code Vein by Bandai Namco.

22.57 - Sea of Theives. Pirate talking is Scottish for some reason. We really don't need a 5+ minute trailer of this. This is the worst thing shown so far. "Become a pirate of legend" NO.

Some said this is two hours long :/ nearly 10 min on that shit!

23.06 - Tacoma? No idea what that was.

23.06 - looks like a discount Tails from Sonic. In some sort of 3d platformer. Super Lucky's Tail.

23.09 - Cuphead? Yup, how has this not been released yet? Sept 29th.

23.10 - Stop showing the stage, show direct feed of the trailer. Crackdown 3.

23.13 - Montage of shit so they can get 42 games in. All indie games.

I still don't know what Mixer is. It's mentioned at the bottom every now and then. Internet says it's a streaming thing that used to be Beam. What's Beam?

23.15 - Ashen.

23.18 - Square.... Life is strange 2? Nope it's the prequel adventures of Chloe and Rachel. When the logo appeared I was hoping to see an rpg. (What's the point without Max's superpowers?) I should finish this just got the last part to do.

23.19 - Shadow of war. What. Shadow of Mordor sequel thingy. Wow 5 minutes on this.

23.26 - Guy playing piano on stage. Trying to make the trailer all arty. Ori the will of the wisps.

23.29 - Talking bout 360 backwards compatibility. More games... original Xbox games. That's actually cool.

4k update to some XBone1 titles for free.... so some them aren't free? Crowd is more excited for this than all the other stuff so far.

Phil says the most diverse line again. No Phil.

XB1X for $499. Crowd woos for some reason. Closing Phil says. THANK FUCK.

23.33 - EA game. Bioware, is it Anthem again. Yup. Do we need to see the combat in a Bioware game? Some idiot thinks so. People are saying it's basically Destiny. Oh look another open world game.

23.42 - Stop showing the stage when a trailer is on. Montage of stuff seen shown in case you fell asleep.

23.43 - That's it apparently. Really the host should say it's the end, bye, thanks for coming.

Indie game Ooblets that was shown for 5 seconds looked cute at least.
Life is Strange: Before the Storm is 3 episodes and not made by DONTNOD. And Ashly Burch is not voicing Chloe for some dumb reason. Even dumber as she is involved.
Interestingly, no COD and no EA Sports.

An hour later... It has been dug up that the guy who is making The Last Night is a gamergater and therefore a huge piece of shit.
Shame on MS for giving this shit the time of day. The speed at which people are turning on this game is hilarious though.

relevant https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/874083995050328064

And MS said the ZB1X was the smallest ever XB1 made but it isn't smaller in every sense going by the pictures.
Kinnect is also dead, well deader.
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10 June 2017 @ 09:45 pm
Missed the first five minutes.

Battlefield, a video with some twattish streamers taking about how cool Battlefield is. Yawwwwwwn.

I feel like this is going to be full of pointless talking and cringe. But when isn't E3 full of cringe?

8.11 - trailer for something...! oh is was more Battlefield *add angry face*

Oh god 8.14 and I am dying of boredom

Sports shit.

Oh god it's sports esports shit. Nooooooooooooooo.

8.15 - FIFA. You can guide your OC Alex Hunter to do footballer stuff.

8.19 - these two wankers are talking about FIFA. I think they are meant to be funny.

8.20 - Some Youtube twat talking about Need for Speed. This is worse than the FIFA Alex Hunter OC stuff. Youtube Twat can't read off a telepromter or talk properly and that's why these twats have so many cuts in their videos. CRINGE.

8.29 - Everything is moving so slowly. EA needs an editor.
A new game and it is....A Way Out. Looks like a poor mans Prison Break/Shawshank. Co-op only? Splitscreen co-op. Two characters. French guy is not good at English but happy with the game and entusiastic.

The forced co op is interesting but I think most people are going to say it's fucking pointless.

8.36 - Talking technology with buzzwords. This is such a shitshow.

8.39 - New Bioware game. Anthem. It's a trailer for a trailer (to be shown at MS conference.)

8.40 - More sports shit. NBA shit.

8.45 - We are going to have 30 minutes of Star Wars. No.

8.47 - Star Wars Battlefront 2. Showing some fucking tweets first. A woman, a pretty woman talking on stage. A VA/actor from BF2. She's an advocate for story in games. Yup she said that.

8.51 - Talking about ST:BF still. This doesn't need to be 90 minutes long. So much pointless talking. They are dredging up random streamers as if the general public will know who these fuckers are.

8.55 - woman is trying to be funny. Stop. Another YT twat coming up.

8.57 - Still BF2. Someone called the woman a "discount Aisha Tyler". Ah that's perfect.

8.59 - BF2 multiplayer. Oh god. Stop saying gamechangers, poinltess buzz word.

9.07 - still showing multi....

9.18 - BF2 it's over? Thank fuck. It was so boring I was playing FE Heroes instead.

9.19 - Clips of shitty Star Wars gacha game with no sound. Oh the sound came back. Mentions Thrawn a lot. WHO THE FUCK IS THRAWN?

9.24 Need for Speed trailer again.

The end.

9.27 Remember that EA Amy Hennig game? Neither does EA! [She later said it won't be at E3 at all]

I have a bad feeling better EA stuff will be at the MS and or Sony conferences.

Rating - terrible. At least half an hour too long and nothing really interesting shown.
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13 January 2017 @ 05:41 am
It's been a while since Nintendo have done a live show and I missed them. The conference is at 4 am because fuck Europe.

There have been a few people on Twitter 'leaking' things but a 4 chan leak came recently that is probably more probable. It's an anon, but they got Final Fantasy 15 right so I will give anon a chance ( plus the Twitter people are smug arseholes).

"4 chan rumours.
>Has Been Heroes - Indie viking style action game. Being developed by Frozenbyte (Shadwen, Nine Parchments).
>Fast RMX - Fast Racing NEO redone on Switch with new content.
>Snipperclips - Small title that uses the two joycons for two players. That's all I know.
>Splatoon 2 - It's a sequel, not just a port.
>Super Bomberman R - Surprise!
>Arms - Fantasy fighting game. All characters are themed and have long arms with different powers/effects. Art style very reminiscent of The Wonderful 101, may be developed by Platinum Games.
>Disgaea 5 Complete - Original game with all DLC
>Ultra Street Fighter 2: The Final Challengers - Port with new content.
>Mario Kart 8 Deluxe - Port with new content.
>Super Mario Odyssey - New 3D Mario title. Logo has a plane in it, implying a new flight mechanic.
>Zelda BoTW
>Just Dance 2017
>Skylanders Imaginators
>1 2 Switch - The Switch's minigame compilation, showcasing the tech. Games include (don't know exact names) Samurai Training, Wild West Shootout, Crack the safe, milk, ball catch and copy the beat."

oh shit.

Lots of lasers. Boss man Kimishima is on.
Eng dubbed.
Soft and hardware details being given out

March 3rd! In loads of places inc some Europe
29980 yen. 300 bucks, lol europe [£280]
Some sort of paid mobile service? Not paid online.....? What the fuck
OH SHIT region lock is gone!

New guy on. Talking bout old hardware and legacy of.
Going through all the Switch modes.
It's great local wireless is still around.
Battery life is ass but at least you can use a portable battery.

Another guy. Talking about the controller. Screen grab/record button. Independent giro in each joycon piece.
"We call this sharing the joy" OH NO YOU DID NOT SAY THAT
I don't like how there is no d pad. Hoping for a dpad version.
oooh colours. Black, red, blue.

Games! Western.. no! Red Dead? Can't be right? Oh thank fuck it isn't.
That was a weird moment for me.
Probably a wii play sort of thing,,, and it is. 1-2 Switch.
The leaks are real! DAMMIT 4chan.
and what else...

20 minutes down.
The live action trailers are weird. Please stop.

It's a strange fighting game with loooooooooong arms.
Called Arms appropriately. Nice art style. Motion controlled. hmmmmmmmmm.

but these two games are clearly meant to be played at home. I want a 3DS successor.

Squids. I'm a squid now! Splatoon 2.
New guy on. In a lab coat, like him already.
Talking about squid far too seriously.
summer 2017.

Mario of course, in New York......?! Holy shit. What is this.
Too fucking out there. Wtf. What.
Super Mario Odyssey, they got odd right.

Hardware guy is back on and he's the producer??! Talk about multitasking!

Monolithsoft, oh shit. Looks xeno-y.
Character models don't look like ass but are very anime-y.

Fire Emblem Mousu/Warriors. Oh shit.

DQ 10. 11 and heroes 1-3

Altus... SMT!!! oh man....
SMT? yeeessss. First hd SMT?!

Square... Octopath Traveller. What. Square no. Stop naming things like this. Looks old school neat.

SMT has just started and is wayyyyyy off :(

Sega guy on. He said something.

Skyrim port. *yawn*

Yay Suda51! Translator has given up, sounds stoned, fire this guy he gives no fucks. I don't know what Suda is saying thanks to the translator. No More Heroes 3?

Ea is there. Bill T is translating to jpn. Love Bill. Yeah it's Fifa. EA guy is a fucking giant and looks evil. Oh a custom experience,,,, lol.

Hardware man is back for wrap up.
Clip of things.

5 mins left where is Zelda?

Pres back on.
Where are the launch games?
Where is Miyamoto?

Message for Europe and the US.
Shibata! Says hi thanks for watching so late!
Reggie. They both say there are demos in certain places.
...says something is missing.... Zelda!
Miyamoto! Referencing a meme too [him giving a thumbs up]. Aonuma too!
Date is...
New trailer
Nice music as always
Hey its Zelda herself!

And that's it.

I like the idea but I have been a handheld gamer for the past few years. This isn't what I am looking for. I'm hearing there's no Streetpass or Miiverse which is bullshit. It doesn't help that the conference showed a bunch of games that can't be played as a handheld.

The battery life is predictable terrible and the size makes it not as portable as the already big New 3DS XL.

If I had more money I would be tempted to buy a Switch for curiosity's sake but I am going to wait and see. E3 will be telling.

Thankfully I still have several 3DS games to buy and play.

For the conference itself I think it was strange. Too much detail about the joycon. What was the point of Suda and the Sega guy being there? Not enough focus on launch games. One thing I did like was how they let new people on stage (I say new but they probably have been at Nintendo for decades). Miyamoto was kept back.

And 4chan got it right and Twitter people had egg on their face. Twitter people didn't even get the date right!
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14 June 2016 @ 07:23 pm
5pm and it's the Zelda stream :/

It's Reggie. Mentions Orlando shooting and Christina Grimmie (singer and big Zelda fan who was shot and murdered by a psycho). She was meant to be at E3 at the Nintendo booth. Damn. Actual moment of silence and a black screen!

Reggie's in the E3 booth.

Oh shit a voice, please no VA, yes there's VA. Looks sweet. Ducks :)

Really sweet. It's different and sweet.

Breath of the Wild is the subtitle. I like what I am seeing. Reggie name drops the NX (although Ubi did it first)

5.10 - A 3DS thing. Pokémon Sun and Moooon. Ohh gameplay!
Woman is talking to poké dudes via translator, and she's doing a great job at look at the poké dudes and not the translator. She's also a poké freak.

The trainer is now visible in battles. Bottom screen UI has changed again. Now poké, Yungoos. it's cute.

Oh wow 360 movement at last! you can also see the other trainer in battles. And another bird Poké.

5.47 - Poké wrap up. and it'll be back at 6 for more Zelda.

6.00 - hey it's the Aonuma. Lady translator. Link wake up in a freaky place. Link can jump! It's interesting to see Nintendo's take on a open world game. Looks neat. Cel shaded so it's nice and green and not brown. Map looks pretty big. Clean UI.

Decided I've seen enough.

Also Resi 7 is in first person which is a big shame.

Nintendo only having Zelda and Pokémon really sucked the fun from E3 before it started :/
14 June 2016 @ 03:31 am
2 am is Sony time!

2.04 - Sony have an orchestra out, with chanting. Hasn't started yet. Or has it?

2.05 - It's God of War? Kratos is the worst dad. Oh the orchestra is doing music for the game.

Stream has a stupid side panel. Like I give a shit what the audience looks like right now. Side panel is gone. Looks.... good! Except it's Kratos and he's a piece of shit. What sort of woman would shack up with this fucker?

2.17 - Orlando mention. Almost tasteful. At least it's not in front of funny dancers, looking at you Ubi. AND NOW FOR MORE VIOLENCE!

2.19 - Bend Studio. Looks like The Last of Us but isn't. Days Gone.

2.21 - ? Last Guardian? YES. October 25th this year. Big cheer.

2.23 - That Horizon Zero Dawn game. I like they are playing trailers at a decent pace and not talking about shit no one cares about for 10 minutes like they usually do. This is getting a longer video. Getting sick of characters talking to themselves like a crazy person. She is wearing fur but the creatures are all robo animals with no fur?

2.31 - Something with androids. Oh god it's a Dave Cage game isn't it. And it's Jayden from Heavy Rain doing the voice. Game of choices. Detroit: Become Human. Yes Dave Cage.

2.36 - Another trailer. No talking so far, no one on stage talking shit! It's like I directed it! This is what I've been asking for years!

This features a gross kitchen. Silent Hill? Resi Evil? Yes. Looks different. Jan 2017 big cheer.

2.39 - So here is the talking. Boooo.

Resi 7 playable in VR. PS VR Oct 13 in USA, $400.

2.42 - Now for more VR stuff. Farpoint. Star Wars VR Battlefront. Sounds like Sylvester McCoy and not the Joker. Some Batman VR game. FF15 VR thing. The chocobo looks nice at least.

2.48 - Mass Effect? Some space thing. Is the VR bit over? Better not be that Cod in space game. Maybe? 1st person shooty thing in space. I know this as the trailer had a load of dislikes for some reason, I watched it and disliked it as it had a shit cover of Space Oddity (for fucks sake Bowie had only been dead for a couple of months then). See it is Cod.

2.55 - Another shooty bang game. Cod modern warfare remastered :/

2.56 - Crash? Remastered. Big cheer. Why, was it that popular? And it's in Skylanders. Oh what you wanted a new Crash game? Hah! That was a great troll.

2.58 - Lego star wars. Getting good use of that orchestra!

3.01 - Andrew House, squeeky voice man is on talking about shit.

3.02 - Kojima is on! And showing something. Man handcuffed to a baby? What. the fuck. Baby turned to oil? guh? Scars on chest? Norman Reedus again? At least he got to do something with Kojima after PT was canned. Death Stranding.

3.06 - Spiderman game by Insomniac.

3.08 - Still a high trailer ratio. Sony aren't even bothering to say its exclusive, they're confident as hell.

"Live" demo of Days Gone. Basically the Last of Us again. And zombies....It is The Last Of Us! Sony you were doing so well before this...

3.16 - a highlight reel to some shit music, has Persona 5 in it. You have an orchestra there!

3.17 - a black screen for 5 seconds. That's it? Why did you end with that boring thing?

No FF7?

So close to being perfect. Cut down all the talking but ended with for some reason with a dull looking game. Out of all games shown why that one?
14 June 2016 @ 01:00 am
Hey it's 9pm and Ubi is on!

Can't Stop Me Now plays. Uh oh.

Nooooooooooooo. Not a Queen Just dance game! I think I had a stroke.. that would explain it.

Are they going to play the whole song.... nope just most of it.

Girl wood, Aisha Tyler, is back!

9.03 - She's know that was bullshit too.

She gets the dancers back to do a bit on Orlando. Looks ridiculous in front of the funny dressed dancers. That was worse than the MS one! Completely tone deaf.

Her 5th time hosting! "It's not the money. Ubosoft is French!" And Ubi is 30 awwwwwwww.... and about to get a hositle takeover by Vivendi. And she said fuck.

9.08 - Ghost Recon. I can't tell the difference between these games.

Why are they posting tweets on screen. Or is that just Twitch? Dudes mic keeps popping.

9.13 - some "gameplay" of it. With actors doing bad/fake chatting.

9.20 - How long is this going to run for?

9.22 - South Park. The creators are on stage. Having a comfy couch is cheating! Has a superhero theme, taking the piss out of Marvel films and DC. If you preorder you get the other South Park game for free. Neat.

9.37 - Aisha has stopped giving a fuck and it's great.

The Division. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

9.44 - VR thingy? A demo that doesn't work properly because it's VR and I am not watching it in VR.

They are taking too long and I need to wash my hair soon..

9.49 Italy scored a second in injury time against Belgium.

Some thing.... Star Trek. Still VR, has Trek people try it out. Jeri Ryan still as amazing as ever. Bridge Crew is a terrible name. "That guy who leaked it on Reddit can suck it" says Aisha.

Geordi on stage. He really likes the game. It's the sort of enthusiasm you can't pay for.

STOP WITH the masturbatory tweets.

9.59 a long trailer for..... a medieval thing... For Honor.

And I have to go wash my hair.

It went on for an hour more! Two hours is too long, but I guess they did that as a fuck you we don't want you to Vivendi.

Missed Grow Home 2, some weird things, Ass Creed movie, Watch Dogs 2, Watch Dogs movie (why) and SSX (where you can die horribly for some reason).
13 June 2016 @ 07:34 pm
Everything's been leaked which is a big surprise. I think it was from their press site. Big question is what wasn't leaked.

Not impressed with E3 as Nintendo aren't doing anything except a Zelda stream :/

It's 5:30pm and we are starting. A small hello to victims of Orlando shooting.... from a console that glorifies shooting....

XBone S. There was some boos! It's a smaller XBone.

There are captions on the stream. WHY. Clearly there was no cheering when the caption said so.

Gears 4. That was leaked. Exclusive, but not as it's on PC as well. Voice lady Laura Bailey is on the stage. Hey a woman! She chose to do this over Persona DAN apparently. Boring video of it. Same old stuff. No seriously, this is too long. 5:41 now. "motherfucker" got censored. Looks brown.

5:43 - Video finally over! Showing a controller with blood splatter. Oh a Gears themed controller or something.

5:44 - Killer instinct thing? Gears cross promo. UGH.

5:46 Forza? Wicked game cover song. Stop saying exclusive when it's also on pc. Oh no an Australian! Hey the captions are gone, come back!

If all the MS games are on Windows 10, why do you need and XBone?

5:52 - Recore? I have no idea what this is. Oh it's a Keiji Inafune game. Girl and some robots.

5:54 - Final Fantasy thing. Tabata on. FF15. AN ACTUAL DEMO?! I hate it when they pretend to play a demo live, it never is live. Looks dull and it looks a lot like Xenoblade X....

5:58 - Ubisoft. The Division with randomly generated mission (which are always shit)

6:00 - Battlefield. YAWN..

6:03 XBone live stuff. You can play background music. Crowd goes Woooo. Seriously, WTF.

Oh the XBone S does NOT include a controller.

6:07 - Minecraft. A WOMAN! She is holding a tablet for some reason. Oh it's for a demo. Looks like Kristen Schall. She's using an ipad even though this is the MS conference and Ms makes pads... She is cringing more than I am at the moment. Why do they need to demo this. Minecraft is fucking popular.

6:12 - Wireless controller with customisable bits. wooo. Might be why xbone s doesn't have a controller...

6:14 - from the creators of Limbo... Inside.

Oh and "The Xbox One S comes with a newly designed Xbox Wireless Controller" so that was fun for a few minutes.

some indie stuff I don't give a shit about. And early Access game from PC that you can play now? Yeah.

6:19 - some game. Bioshock 3? Person on stage pretending to play it. "First to console" Talk about desperate. Okay wtf is it? Oh We Happy Few. It wasn't Bioshock?!

6:23 - CD Project Red guy. Gwent. Oh a card game :/ Who asked for a Witcher card game? Are these guys really an indie studio? They're pretty big. Do we really need to give stage time to a card game?

6:27 - Bamco. Tekken v SF? Boring trailer. Or is it just Akuma in a Tekken game? Yup, Tekken 7. Japanese dud is wearing a kimono with shades and clearly doesn't give a fuck.

6:31 - Dead Rising. Hello director, SHOW THE SCREEN AND NOT THE WIDE FAR SHOT. Yes Dead Rising, which also got leaked. Set at Christmas or something. At least they aren't showing a dark and gritty trailer like they did with DR3.

6:32 - AN MS game. A woman! She's talking about past games they've made and things. And Windows 10 stuff.

6:34 - Scalebound time. KAMIYA! His English has improved. This is also on Win 10. Main guy looks suspiciously like Dante, young twat with white hair.

Eating time, so the stream must be abandoned!

6:54 - back again! Xbone live again. Oh sounds like he's wrapping it up.

Last game? No. Talking about little XBone. NO? Another revision coming next year. Are they on drugs? "HIGHEST QUALITY PIXELS." What is this masturbatory garbage? Like a hostage video. Why is this going on for so long?

Ireland and Sweden drew 1-1. Didn't watch any of it to watch this shit.


Okay, I missed Rare's pirate thing, State of Decay 2 (another zombie game?) and Halo Wars 2
Verdict -

That was bad. Basically admitting they fucked up with the original Bone and continuing to fuck up by putting their games so PC so have no reason to pick up the Bone S or the Scorpio. Why would you announce a console and then ANOTHER console?.

Skipping the PC show that starts soon as I feel like I already watched one.
13 June 2016 @ 07:25 pm
I've been lazy by not posting. My love of gaming has waned (as it naturally does now and then), this time it is all down to the poisonous atmosphere from fellow gamers. I don't even fully understand 'gamergate' and I understand less of how it's still going. It's all about harassing women under the guise of "ethics". It puts me off the gaming community.

I still play games on my trusty 3DS though, still the end of the 3DS looms near....

I'll try not to be so lazy since it's E3 and all.